The Truth About Motherhood

The truth about motherhood is often a lot different from the picture you may have in your mind during pregnancy. You will find that as well as being wonderfully rewarding, it will at times be equally stressful and challenging.
The Responsibility

We don't think about this too much during pregnancy, but it soon hits home after the birth! This beautiful, little creature looks so fragile and vulnerable, and it's down to me (and Dad!) to keep it safe and nuture it, feed it, teach it and love it. Oh boy, that's big!! BUT..... we are made to do it, so believe in yourself, you can do it! I think a mistake that's so easy to make is the thought that we are responsible for the happiness of our children. This thought puts way to much pressure on us to be perfect and get everything right; that's simply not possible. The truth about motherhood is that we just have to be good enough. We are all responsible for our own happiness, and that happiness comes to us through our own thoughts and beliefs and outlook on life, not our outward circumstances. Your children too, will do with their life whatever they want to do.

A Totally New Life

I think when planning, or contemplating parenthood, we have an idea that life will change when the baby arrives; but I don't think we fully comprehend the totality of the difference that we will experience. The whole premise on which our previous life was built will now change, because we're now responsible for someone else. This has a knock-on effect on every area of life. We now need to think about our child when contemplating any decision.

The Size Of The Commitment

The commitment of parenthood is life-long, and at times it can seem too much.I think it helps though that as the child grows and develops, the challenges change: some issues resolve themselves, and new challenges appear! I know my mom still worries about me and keeps an eye on what I'm doing! Certainly she was terribly effected when I went through my divorce trauma. The truth about motherhood is that once a mother, you're always a mother, no matter how old your kids get!

It Doesn't Always Come Naturally

We think that motherhood always flows and feels natural; but I think a lot of it we need to learn. The big thing that many moms struggle with is breastfeeding . You'd have thought that that would be easy, but so many mothers struggle with it and quickly give up. My first born was very small and was bottle-fed in hospital. It took me two months to gradually wean him off the bottle and onto the breast using nipple shields as the halfway point.

Motherhood Involves Sacrifice

I don't think we fully appreciate ahead of time the truth of motherhood being a great sacrifice, especially in Western cultures. Child-rearing is now very much a on-person job, due to financial necessities. Even when us mothers work too, very often we're still expected to be responsible for child care and household tasks. In times gone by (and in other cultures to this day) children were raised by the whole community. The reality of our situation means that inevitably there is sacrifice in motherhood.

Children Are Not Always "Nice"

The truth about motherhood that we may not contemplate when pregnant is that children are not always lovely angels! In fact it has been my experience, both in my role as a mother, and as a professional child carer, that children invariably save their worst behaviour for their parents. I guess it's because the relationship is so close that they feel safe enough to be their true selves; complete with all those strong emotiions they've yet to learn to manage!

You May Not Always Have Good Feelings For Your Children

When our children display those unwanted behaviours, it can be near impossible to feel good about them. I think at those times we need to not take those things personally. It may just be a stage of development . I think we sometimes have too much of ourselves invested in motherhood, and so when things get bumpy it's so much more stressful than it would otherwise be. I have realised through being forcibly separated from my two eldest, that I had forgotten about Frances and become Mommy. I've come to the conclusion that it's much healthier to retain our own interests as much as we can, then we're not so upset by parenting problems.

The truth about motherhood is that it is not plain sailing, and that we will find it easier if we remember to nurture ourselves first.