Self Esteem In Kids

What is self esteem in kids? What do low and healthy self esteem look like? How do we build healthy self esteem? I offer some answers here.

Self esteem is all about what kids believe about themselves. These beliefs are formed during childhood as the child interacts with others and interprets their behaviour and treatment of him as an assessment of his value as a person. The actions of adults are more influencial to the child's development of self belief, and his parents are the most important of all.

What Does Low Self Esteem Look Like?

Quiet

Not mixing with other children

Does not approach adults

Clingy

Impatient

Rubbishing his own work

Avoiding new challenges

Blaming others for failure

Easily frustrated

What Does Healthy Self Esteem Look Like?

Welcomes new challenges

Mixes well with others

Approaches adults confidently

Patient

Values own work/achievements

Takes responsibility for unsuccessful endeavours

Tolerates frustration

Confident and open communication in group situations

Welcomes new challenges

Why Is Healthy Self Esteem Important?

Healthy self esteem in children is important because it is the foundation on which their whole life is built. If it is a bit shakey, their life will not be a strong building! A healthy self esteem means that a child will be a confident learner, will build relationships easily, will care for themselves and their bodies and will go for their goals and dreams when they reach adulthood. These are the cornerstones of a successful and happy life.

Building Self Esteem In Kids

"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel." Carl W Buechner

We as parents have a pivotal role in building self esteem in children; We need to teach our children to love and value themselves. The first consideration is that we need to set a good example in our own self esteem. Do we care for and value ourselves? At the end of the day, your child will take more credence from your behaviour than your words. Simply put, children need to be shown how to feel about themselves by how we as parents feel about them; and this is through our behaviour towards them. If we show love, they will love themselves; if we value them, they will value themselves etc.

Self Esteem Building Tips

Provide opportunities for your child to enjoy simple pleasures.

Acknowledge your child for his personal qualities

Teach your child to treat themselves as they would like to be treated.

Teach your child about choices, consequences and personal responsibility.

Notice and praise wanted behaviour using descriptive praise: "It was great how you comforted Sam when he hurt himself".

Help your child to play to their strengths.

Give your child the gift of quality time, sharing their fun.

Empower your child by involving them in the setting of house rules.

At bedtime encourage your child to think of a few things that he can feel happy about.

Teach your child that they don't have to put up with anyone being mean to them.

Teach your child to compare himself to how he used to be, to see how far he's come, instead of comparing himself to others.

There are so many ways to build self esteem in kids, I wish you joy on your journey to a happy family life :-)