Positive Parenting Tips

These are my positive parenting tips. My understanding of positive parenting is the kind of parenting that seeks to teach, enable and empower the children rather than control and contain them. When thinking of the parenting styles I would consider the authoritarian parenting style to be the least positive and the authoritative parenting style to be the most positive.

To be a positive parent, you need to have the foundation of good, positive view of yourself. Do you like and value yourself? I think many of us moms don't really value ourselves. We sacrifice ourselves for the sake of the children, but in doing that we're not really doing ourselves, or the children any favours.

Remain Calm

One of my positive parenting tips is to remain calm. This one can be really tough! I'll admit to losing my temper and shouting on occasion. That's why I'm really working on myself to get more positive. I find having my own goals and working towards them really helps to get me happy. When I'm happy I'm more patient and loving and the kids are happier and better behaved. Great news all round!

Behave As You Want Them To Behave

We know that children learn how to be an adult by copying those adults closest to them, so we need to set a good example. We can't expect our kids to behave like little angels if our behaviour is less than perfect.

Active Listening

Another of the positive parenting tips is to use active listening. Active listening involves the use of body language, verbal encouragers and open questions. When listening to our children we should give them our full attention, look at them and acknowledge what they are saying. We should smile and nod encouragement and use open questions (those which begin with who, what, when, where, how or why) to prompt further communication. It really is communicating to our child that we really are interested in what they are saying. This is vital to ensure that they don't form the self-limiting belief of "I'm not important" and other similar beliefs.

Plenty of Love

This almost goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway! Children need to know that they're loved by their parents. Show it with your words and behaviour towards them. Lots of hugs and kisses and "I love you's."

Plenty of Encouragement

One more of the positive parenting tips is to give plenty of encouragement. Children, especially younger ones are still forming their internal picture of the world and their place in it. Therefore plenty of encouragement is vital so that the child forms the belief "I am capable" and other such positive beliefs. This will help them to grow and develop to their full potential, instead of being too nervous to try anything new.

Plenty of Praise

Similarly praise will have the effect of raising a child's self esteem. We should praise for good effort, as well as achievement so that the child will be happy to try again. This will help grow her perseverence muscle!

Child Is Valued

Children need to know they are valued, for who they are not for what they can do. Putting too much importance on children's achievements can be damaging, as we risk pushing them in a direction of our choosing and not giving them chance to develop at their own pace. I think that given love, praise and boundaries, children will flourish and find their own direction in life.

Give Reasons For Boundaries

Another of my positive parenting tips is to give reasons for the boundaries we set for our kids. When setting boundaries, if possible discuss these with the child and set the house rules all together as a family, explaining the resons why. This vastly increases the probability of the rules being obeyed. You may like to include sanctions for non-compliance, but they should apply to Mom and Dad too!

Distraction

Distraction is great for toddlers and young children. They get into mischief because they're exploring the world to learn all about it. If they're doing something you don't want them to do it's usually pretty easy to distract them with another toy or activity.

Consistency

Consistency in the care of children is really important. It gives them a sense of security and safety as they know what to expect from their surroundings. Also consistent enforcement of boundaries is far more effective in moulding behaviour than inconsistant reinforcement, which will probably have the opposite effect: reinforce the negative behaviour.

Why don't you see how positive your parenting is?