How To Be Patient

How to be patient? This can be a challenge, particularly for mothers, who can feel stress and pressure on all sides. Here are some ideas and stategies that I have found helpful.

It's quite normal to get impatient from time to time, but I think a pattern of impatience is often a symptom of a more generalised unhappiness or disatisfaction with life. That was certainly the case with me. I was unhappy with my life and therefore feeling negative, which led to the impatience and intolerance. I got angry and impatient at the slightest provocation.

Let's Get Our Priorities Right

Our children need us to be healthy and happy, but so often we go through life with chronic stress, resentment and generally not coping well with the everyday pressures. Our "cup" has probably got too empty. I believe as parents we have three responsibilities in life:

1. To take care of ourselves.

2. To take care of our partnership/marriage.

3. To take care of our children.

In this order of priority!

We Need To Refuel

The thing is, we can't be the parents our children need us to be if we are not looking after ourselves. We need not only "fuel" for our physical body in the form of food and drink; we also need fuel for our spiritual and mental selves. This fuel comes in the form of love, recognition, touch and talking with others.

How To Refuel?

How you refuel will, to a certain extent be individual to you, and what works for me may not work for you, but here are some ideas:

~Spend ten minutes with your partner when they/you both get home from work, ensure that the children respect this "grown-up" time.

~Spend time regularly doing an adult activity that satisfies you and makes you feel good about yourself, and life.

~Keep an area or two of the house for adults only, where you can keep your beautiful and precious things without fear of them breaking, and to always have a tidy space to go to.

~Use time spent doing mundane chores to think about nice things: happy memories, things and people to be grateful for and good things to look forward to.

~Give yourself a break about housework, particularly if you have a young baby. We have got a bit obsessive about hygiene in recent years and in truth our immune system needs a little dirt in order to build itself up.

~Use babysitter time to do something for yourself, not shopping or cleaning!

~Be sure to sometimes cook the food you like, not always pander to the kids whims. This will teach them to be less fussy too!

~Listen to your music at home.

~Make full use of your support network.

~Spend time with other moms who understand.

How To Be Patient: Summary

To be patient in the often stressful and frustrating circumstances of motherhood, you need to look after yourself. Do whatever you need to do to be happier and more satisfied with life.

Love yourself, or you won't have love to give.

Have open conversation with your partner and explain what needs you have that aren't being met. (Be open to hearing about his unmet needs too!)

Don't believe your thoughts, they're not always correct or true.

How to be patient? Well, you choose your own method, but if you start to nurture yourself, you will find that your mood improves and you will be more patient.