How Do The Happy Moms Do It?

When I see those perpetually upbeat, happy moms, I wonder how they do it; I am fairly grumpy, the default expression of my face is serious.

Do they have perfect kids and a perfect husband; probably not. I did some research and I found twenty two tips for how to be a happy mommy:

1. Ask For Help

Trying to do it all ourselves is a recipe for disaster. We have some many jobs and demands on our time that we need to be willing to ask for help. Of course moms are often great for this, or mother-in-laws, but also you may have a friend who'd be willing to offer a helping hand on occasion.

2. Get Outdoors

I find that getting out into the countryside always does wonders for my mood. I'm fortunate that I don't have to walk too far from my front door before I'm in open countryside so I incorporate a regular walk into my schedule. This also has the added benefit of burning off some calories and giving my heart and lungs a good workout. I'm a happy sweaty mommy!

It's great to get out of the house and away from the chores for a day out. My family love to go to somewhere where there's nice countryside or gardens a cool play area for the kids; and of course somewhere to eat! Getting out and doing something that everyone enjoys will boost your mood.

4. Invest In Your Marriage

I think this is so important; at the end of the day you can't be a good mom if you're in an unhappy relationship. If you have issues with your partner, try not to blame, but look at what you may be able to do to improve things. Bottom line, don't bury your head in the sand, spend time talking honestly together and making sure the other is OK.

5. Get Enough Sleep

Hey it may seem obvious, but sometimes the obvious is what we miss. I know I'm far less patient when I've not slept enough, and a happy mom when I have. We should give time to thinking through how best we can manage things:go to bed earlier,nap when the baby naps,get a babysitter etc. You might have to think a little creatively!

6. Exercise That Body

Exercise is one of the best ways to beat stress and anxiety. Doctors actually "prescribe" exercise to patients with depression. Physical exertion triggers the release of several chemicals into our brain: serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine and endorphins; these chemicals help reduce anxiety, stress and depression. Regular exercise can also help increase self esteem and self confidence, and reduce the frustration of daily life. All this will help you become a happy mom.

7. Take Some "Me" Time

Take some time to do what you enjoy:watch a good movie,read a good book,go out for lunch with friends

8. Do Something Nice For Someone

Making a special effort to do a favour for someone helps move your focus away from your own stresses and therefore helps you to put them in perspective. There's always someone worse off than you.

9. Be Content With Your Life

Gratitude is a powerful force; the more you can be grateful for good things you have in your life, the more good things you will have to be grateful for.

10. Spend Time With Other Moms

Hook up with other mothers, they understand and will support you. You will also get tips and advice from more experienced moms which may be really helpful.

11. Plan Some Little Treats For Yourself

It may just be to buy yourself your favorite magazine, or get yourself some beautiful flowers; little treats just add some sweetness to life. You can't be a happy mom without this!

12. Bend The Rules A Little

Yes of course it's important to be consistent with the discipline of your children, but a slight bend of the rules occasionally will feel so deliciously naughty that everyone will enjoy it!

13. Remember Happy Times

You might be feeling low now, but you will have had fun, happy times in the past. Take time to remember them, in as much detail as you can and feel the happy feeling all over again. Get out old photos, and remember to take new ones to capture special moments for posterity.

14. Look For The Silver Lining!

Happy Moms try to be positive: in every situation there is something to be learned and an opportunity to grow, try to identify it. If you can't, at least remember: this too will pass.

15. Accept Responsibility For Your Life

When you blame someone or something else for an issue or problem, you give away your power to that person or thing. A much better tactic is to accept total responsibility and this will eliminate your negative emotions. Use this affirmation frequently:I am responsible.

16. Mind Your Self-Talk

Your self-talk is that running commentary that goes on inside your head almost constantly and it's a lot more powerful in determining what your life is than you might think. This stream of thoughts is a product of the millions of messages you received while you were growing up which were permanently recorded in your brain. If you listen to your self-talk you will probably find, as I did , that much of it is negative and self-defeating.
We need to keep our self-talk positive.

17. Spend Time With Siblings Separately

My experience with three children tells me that a lot of the stress of motherhood comes from the interactions between the siblings. My three boys have love-hate relationships with each other and often squabble. I have found that to be able to spend time with each of them separately is so lovely as you will be able to enjoy the best in each child.

18. Forgive Yourself

Happy moms know that you only make yourself feel worse by dwelling on something you may have said or done that you regret; don't brood! We've all yelled at our kids at least once. Forgive yourself and choose to handle the situation differently next time.

19. Laugh

Happy moms laugh a lot. Laughter is fantastic medicine and the more often you can laugh, the happier mom you will be. Comedy shows or movies are great for helping you to laugh.

I just love cuddles with my sons; and luckily none of them are old enough to have grown out of it yet. A loving cuddle is just so therapeutic, for you and the children (and partner!).

21. Re-consider Your Priorities

Take time to think about your life and plan the way you would like it to be. Think about the times that you have felt blissfully happy and fulfilled, when you could have carried on doing that thing all day. These are called "flow" experiences and the more you can incorporate these into your life the more happiness you will feel. Goal setting will help you to close the gap between how your life is and how you want it to be.

22. Savour The Moment

So often our mind is so stuck in the past or the future that we're not truly experiencing the present moment. The only time when we have any power is now, so doesn't it make sense to live in the now, fully experience and enjoy it? Only by living in the present moment can we make the changes in our life that will benefit and promote our happiness.

Hope you find these tips helpful and I'd love to hear your ideas too.