The Disadvantages of Single Parenting

There are several disadvantages of single parenting, but there are ways to overcome these with some thought, planning and organisation. The situations of single parents vary greatly: it may be that you are divorced, widowed or never married. Your baby may have been planned or unplanned. Here are some disadvantages that are common to most single parents:

Lack of Support

One of the disadvantages of single parenting is lack of support. Mothers with parters or husbands have support in parenting, even if that's only for part of each day. They have some backup. When you're a single mother you don't have that backup there every day. If you're lucky you'll have family nearby who support you, but if not what do you do? A good source of help can often be your local library; they will likely be able to give you information about statutory provided support for parents, and voluntary organisations. Also you can do an internet search for "single parent support" looking for sites within your country and I'm sure lots of helpful sites will come up.

Too Much Pressure and Stress

Another of the disadvantages of single parenting is pressure and stress. Not having enough support can lead to a feeling of being under pressure and this will cause you stress. Motherhood is a demanding role and feeling that you have to do it all alone can lead to overload. There are many strategies you can use to deal with stress: among these are relaxation techniques, going for a walk and exercise. If you are interested in this topic, please sign up to my ezine. There I go into more detail about the different causes and effects of stress on mothers, and different techniques you can use to manage stress, you can also view back issues.

Financial Pressure

Another of the disadvantages of single parenting is financial pressure. In the modern world and the expectations that most of us (at least in the Western world) have about our lifestyle, it is imperitive to have two incomes coming into the household. Everything costs so much and the kids have high expectations; wanting this toy and that computer game. This can put incredible pressures on single parents who tend to have severly constrained finances. I was living on government benefits while I was a single mom and was only able to run a car with the financial help of my parents with tax and insurance. Children of single parents I guess need to learn to enjoy what they do have and all you can do is try to teach them that attitude. Leading by example is the best way to get this message across. I sincerely believe that being grateful for what you've got is the first step towards getting more.

Child Care Issues

Another of the disadvantages of single parenting is childcare. This can be a big issue for single parents. Parents in couples have the advantage of being able to share childcare if their working hours permit it. Others are able to use grandparents as a childcare resource. If you have to use professional childcare it can get expensive. In the UK the government will give you child tax credits if you work at least 16 hours per week. You can claim up to 80% of your childcare costs back up to certain maximums depending on how many children you have. You could get together with other moms and set up a babysitting circle where you each exchange babysitting credits.

Limited Social Life

Another of the disadvantages of single parenting is the limiting effect it can have on your social life. Even as a married mother your possibilities for socialising change. It's good to develop frienships (if you haven't already got some) with other moms and do stuff together with the children. This can work really well, especially if the kids are similar ages. You can take it in turns who hosts the group at home, or go out to a local park or play area. That way you get to mix with other adults without the childcare headache.

Difficulties Balancing Children and Work

For any parent balancing children and work can be a problem, but for single parents this can be especially difficult. Again it's the issue of childcare that's flexible and affordable. You may be able to look into the possibility of flexible working, or working from home part of the time; or you may have to work part time as a compromise.

Loneliness

Another of the disadvantages of single parenting can be loneliness. It can be lonely being a single parent, but as I mentioned above the best remedy to this is to meet up with other moms You could also sign up for an adult education class that interests you or join a club. If you feel you would like to find someone special I can personally recommend dating services as Barry and I met through one. When going on a "blind" date there are certain precautions you should take to ensure your safety:

~Choose your location carefully: somewhere public in daylight.

~Do not get into their car.

~Make sure you tell someone where you are going and what time you expect to be back.

~Don't give away any personal information, except perhaps an email address.

Summary

There are several disadvantages to single parenting and you may not have chosen to be in that position, but if you can turn your feelings around to accept it, you'll be in a better position to change the situation. Try to see the advantages of single parenting to keep you positive and then focus on what you want to achieve. Use the law of attraction to bring what you want into your life:

~Ask for what you want: write it down as if it's already yours and feel the feelings associated with already having it.

~Believe that the thing you have asked for is already coming to you as it truly is (if you are in resonance with it).

~Receive it!

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