The Powerful Bond of Motherhood

The bond of motherhood usually starts in pregnancy: It's amazing when you start to feel the first little flutterings of the baby moving around inside. When the baby's born the bond grows as you care for the baby and spend time playing and washing and feeding your helpless little bundle.

What Is This Bond?

The love between mother and child is the most fundamental human relationship. It is the deepest, most enduring and selfless love.

Emotional Bond

The human infant is extremely dependent compared to infants in the animal kingdom. He needs total care and protection in order to survive. The fact that the baby is able to see, smell, hear and respond makes it easy for the motherhood bond to grow, as these responses trigger good feelings in the mom.

When we hold our baby close he can see us quite clearly. This eye contact helps the bond to develop. Also the baby will turn her head to the breast in response to what he can smell, and he'll respond to his mother's voice.

Hormonal Bond

The bond is also a hormonal one. Oxytocin, is produced during child birth and breast feeding. This hormone has also appears to reduce anxiety and increase caregiving behaviour.

Telepathic Bond

Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist and founder of analytical psychology talked about a telepathic bond between mother and child, and the occurence of synchronicity. This is when things happen by an apparent coincidence, but have some meaning. Mothers have also been shown to have some kind of intuition in relation to their children, sensing their child's thoughts and feelings. I have certainly had experience of that in my life.

It's important that we bond with our babies because this bond helps us to deal with the hardships and stresses that being a parent involves. We have to tolerate things from a baby that we wouldn't be able to tolerate if we didn't have that emotional bond with them. It helps to keep us patient!

The relationship also helps us to be affectionate and caring with our children. This is clearly beneficial to the child's emotional wellbeing. The bond makes for a happier mom and a happier baby as the mother's behaviour is nuturing and caring.

Attachment

Attachment is part of the emotional development of children. It is the process by which babies and children form a bond with one or more primary caregivers. It is important because it sets the tone for future relationships, both frienships and later on with partners.

Model For Future Relationships

The theorist John Bowlby suggests that we all have an inbuilt need for emotional attachments with others. The mother-child relationship teaches the child about relationships and therefore sets him on a certain path, either positive, or not so. Babies that form a secure attachment with their mother are more likely to have stable friendships, show positive behaviour, cope with change and be more independent. They are more likely to have high self esteem and be popular at school.

How Can We Nurture The Bond of Motherhood?

During pregnancy:

Spend time relaxing and focusing on the growing baby, send out loving thoughts.

Stroke your bump frequently.

Talk to your baby.

After the birth:

Early skin to skin contact, hold the baby as soon after birth as possible. My four year old still comes to me for a cuddle when I'm undressed for the shower!

Touch and caress the baby frequently.

Gaze into the baby's eyes and she will respond in kind. Small babies have good vision at a distance of 20-25 cm.

Your sensitivity to the baby's needs shows them how much you care.

Respond to your baby's early attempts at communication, this will encourage her.

The bond of motherhood is extremely important, but usually comes naturally. If you are having problems it is important to talk to your partner, they will be able to see if you need further help.